January was the beginning of my new medicine regiment...the circles were drawn on my rear like a lovely bullseye and I was re-taught how to do injectable medicine. The doc said to do these shots twice a week...Wednesdays and Sundays. Alternate sides so there isn't soreness and use the muscle afterwards...so basically, don't sit on your bum like a bump on a log.
After the research and trying to determine whether or not we should transfer clinics, we decided to stay where we were. It was putting even more stress on my shoulders worrying about leaving and finding a new doc, clinic, monies, etc. So, here we are....
When we were initially told/taught how to do these shots, my hubby seemed excited and in control. (I know, so sadistic! HA.) But, when it actually came down to it, he was nervous. He told me he didn't want to hurt me. I tried to reassure him that he wouldn't hurt me (and even if it did, I couldn't let him know). So, I drew up the first shot and stuck it in my bra...being the medicine is in oil, my lovely friend Risa suggested to warm it up beforehand to help it go in better. It's like coconut oil, if it cools off, it gets hard...but, if you warm it up, it becomes nice and runny. So, I stuck the shot in my bra for a good hour to help with the temperature. About 20-60 minutes before we did the shot, depending on the day.
It was also suggested to me to heat the injection site before doing the actual shot...so, As a gift, I received a rice sock from Miss N for Christmas. Do you know what those are? People use these for sore muscles, etc....see below:
So, I heated this baby up and put it right on my rear...after it cooled down, hubby and I went upstairs to do our first injection. We went into the spare bedroom so we didn't have to associate this lovely stuff with our sex life in our own room. He cleaned the injection site, took the shot and darted it in...funny thing, I didn't even feel it. I was so fricken worked up and I literally asked him, "Did you do it yet?" while proceeding to turn my neck and see that the need was totally in my bum! I turned around and was like, "I guess so..." It was ridiculous, I mean...I was so hyped up and it wasn't bad at all. NOT AT ALL. Maybe, it helps to have some extra fluff on your bum? I hear so many people complaining about pain and knots and how it hurts so bad. But, not over here...knock on wood, maybe that'll change...but it wasn't bad. at. all.
We were excited...I felt like things were changing and now, we were on the "right" path...our path. I even text Risa and let her know how much it didn't suck! Ha!
Onward!
Well, we reached out to the clinic and asked to start up again with getting us prego. After my little sabbatical and baby blues episode, I decided to not give up. I'm giving up on giving up...I literally have a shirt that says that. When being a mom and having a child and making a family is constantly on my mind, day and night...I can't just throw in the towel.
The doctors put me back on the regiment of oral estrace and wanted to do a mock cycle in order to build up my lining. Gradually build up my dosage, day by day...2mg for a couple days, then 4mg, then 6mg. Day one came and went like all the other tries....on Day 14, I went in and had an ultrasound to figure out what the status was....by this point, I was on 6mg of estrace for about 3 days. My lining was at 6mm! This was the highest it had been in some time...so, Dr. C said to let it go one more week, taking the estrace at 6mg, and re-check. On day 21, I came back in and found out that instead of my lining getting better...it got worse. It was down to 4mm with fluid...I was so bummed out and upset...I didn't even know what to think. I cried. It's supposed to get better as time progresses and mine went the complete opposite way. And to make matters worse, I had a stupid nurse who was just awful and didn't know what to say or what to do...I found this to be a recurring theme. I'll have a great nurse, one who specializes in IVF/FET/Donor Cycles and then I'll get a crap nurse who doesn't even seem to know how to read or tie her own shoes. They don't know my files, they don't know my history, they don't know ME....so, when I thought the world was ending, she basically confirmed it, yet again. But, anyway...the nurse (I can't even remember her name, or choose not to) told me to go back to work and the doctor would call me later that afternoon.
When I received the call that afternoon, it wasn't from the doctor. It was from yet another nurse, this time it was Theresa...I've had her before and she was just a dear, so I had a little sigh of relief. I feel like I haven't seen or talked to my doc in years, but hopefully they communicate to one another accurately. They wanted to change my protocol and switch me over to an injectable estrogen called estradiol valerate. So, they wanted me to have a bleed and then start up on these new injections....twice a week, in my bum. Theresa said to call in when I had my period and we'd do a baseline ultrasound just to verify my lining starting point, draw on my "targets" or injection circles, and reteach me on home to do the injectable medicine.
I was so upset...I don't know how to explain it...I basically called M and asked about transferring clinics, how to do it, getting a second opinion from her main doc, determining whether or not Attain would transfer out, etc. We basically had one week to decide...before I had to start my new injectables.
Exciting...I was already scared for the progesterone shots I would eventually need to start before a transfer...and now, I get to start a different shot on top of that AND try to figure out if I should just change clinics and start over. Lovely. But, we're not giving up...there are always options.
