23w0d: Baby Fever...Oh Dear!

It's here....Baby Fever! (Is that even what they call it?) Oh my gosh...Not sure what hit but, I woke up this morning and all I want to do is buy things...I WANT IT ALL. Maybe, it's because it's Friday and I'm excited for the weekend...but, I want registries, I want clothes, I want the nursery to be done...I want to buy stuff for the nursery. I want the house to be clean and organized, I want the clutter to be gone. Hubby has to talk me off the ledge because now, that's all I want to do. THEN I get upset because we're gone every weekend and don't have time to do ANYTHING.


Is this what they call nesting? I looked it up on the big G and this is what it says...."Nesting is common and is considered to be an instinct to prepare for birth, but not all pregnant women experience the nesting instinct. It is common for women to get the urge to clean and organize during the spring, thus the old adage, “spring cleaning.” I'm not cleaning necessarily but we just bought a new house, so we're constantly fixing things, putting things way, etc. We bought a new sectional and kitchen dining room set. We put up a fence for the dogs and the baby (since our new house is on a pond). We've picked out paint colors and lights for the nursery, reconstructed the closets, etc...busy, busy. But, now, I want things to be put into place so I can rest easy knowing everything is done. I want to make sure we're registering and purchasing the right items, I want it all done NOW. I know this "feeling" will get stronger as time progresses but I just am so excited and almost energetic about it all, and a little stressed. Poor hubby :)

We did make this lovely purchase recently...or I did. Haven't even told hubby yet because he thinks I'm crazy and spend way too much money when I'm not supposed to. BUT, I just couldn't resist. I'm obsessed. It's a newborn outfit and if you haven't noticed, my Minnesotan accent always comes out, even when I type, and I say "OH DEAR!" all the time...this just suits us so well. PLUS, it has a deer on it and the baby will be born close to hunting season. Just perfect. Now, let's just hope it fits because I want her to wear this on her way home from the hospital! AGH! I just love it. But, back to nesting...I told my hubby last night that every weekend in August, when we are home, we need to make sure we are using our time and prepping for baby. We need to paint, we need to register, we need to clean...we need to get ready. You never know what will happen...so, we must be prepared!


Also, this baby must be having dance parties in my belly because Good Lord does she bounce around. I feel so much, it almost makes me feel like I have a little motion sickness at times! Hubby did want to feel her move yesterday, so we sat down on the couch and I figured out where she was in utero. He put his hand on my belly and I told him to apply some pressure and just wait. Each time she would move, I would ask him "Did you feel that?!" and his response would be, "No..." I'd look at him every time I could feel her and than finally he was like, "I think I felt it!" But, then he seemed kind of disappointed and not jumping for Joy. I was like, "ISN'T IT SOOOO COOL?!?!" He told me, "Well, I thought it was going to be like a fist pump...ya know, baby saying HEY DAD!" I just laughed because she's not strong enough to do that, so right now, it feels like little flicks on against your hand. I guess it was a little anti-climactic for hubby but he still thought it was pretty cool...those silly men of ours!

Am I missing something???

So, I guess I have a little more on my mind right now because I've been around some other Prego's lately and I'm starting to second guess myself. Normally, I'm a very put together person...I like to plan and prep; I like to be organized and ready for anything that may come my way. However, with this pregnancy, I've been calm, somewhat relaxed (when I can be)....because I know it's good and helpful for baby. I haven't been stressing out over a ton of things and now I'm wondering if I should be or should've done this sooner????

I mean, I've been trying to eat well and healthy when I can (and don't have crazy cravings), I've only put on 8.5lbs and I'm almost 23 weeks -- I did start out on the heavier size for my height. I've been taking my prenatal and trying to exercise (walking the dogs) when I can. I'm getting good sleep, resting when my body needs it, and drinking lots of water. But, I haven't been asking crazy questions to the doctor. I haven't been overanalyzing every lotion, cream, spray I use on my body. I haven't been stressing out about daycare or finding a childcare provider. I haven't even started a nursery, picked out strollers, car seats, bouncers, diapers, etc. Should I be doing this? Am I not going to be ready for this baby?

The reason I'm asking all this is because lots of people who are currently pregnant have been giving me feedback about their doctors appointments, the questions they ask, all the things they are doing to plan/prep and I feel like I'm not in the same boat! One of my friends said she actually had long lists of questions she brought with to the doctor each visit for him to answer...and I was like "Wha?!" I mean, I've had a few questions here and there but I figured if anything was wrong or if he wanted me to know something specifically, he'd tell me, right? Am I missing something?? Oh dear...I'm freaking out. At the beginning, we had lots of questions because we were transferred from the fertility clinic and I was still on crazy meds and stuff but now, I'm a "normal" person and haven't had much to ask about -- I mean, every website, pregnancy app, etc. out there tells you so much....I just feel like I'm getting more than enough information without having to bug the doctor about it. Maybe I'm in the wrong and need to do more or maybe I'm ok...I'm just freaking out.
OK -- lets take a break from this stress and look at baby pictures. Here are more from the CD we got at our Anatomy scan!

Apparently this is the face...I can't see it.

This is the "nose/lips" -- I can actually see this one...the tech basically told us it's like looking UP your nose, from below...so you have to change the context in which you are thinking.

Here is a little hand and fingers -- you can see the thumb on the left and the fingers on the right all sprawled out.




















So, other than my crazy rant above...things are going really well. EXCEPT my ankles don't like the heat and humidity...every once in a while, they flare up and I need to rest them. But, I'm feeling good. I did have a guy from work come up to me today to congratulate me on being pregnant. He's newer but has been here for a good 4-5 months. Verbatim, this is what he said, "Joy, is it true?? I heard you are pregnant! Congratulations!" I looked at him, then down at my watermelon belly and back up at him again with this puzzled look on my face and said, "Yes, Kevin, I'm over half way pregnant hence the smuggled watermelon I carry under my clothes." Oh dear...haha. Yes. I'm sarcastic and not a nice person, but it's funny! haha

22w0d

As I sit here at work, not working, my mind can not turn off. All that goes through it is "what if's?," worries, concerns...It doesn't stop. Regardless of the day, time, place...it keeps plunging these horrifying ideas into my head. This brain, it does not shut down.

Up until this point, I have been somewhat calm...friends have actually made comments about how relaxed I seemed and level headed about the whole situation....you know, bringing a child into the world that you've basically been yearning for since the age of 5. I'm not sure what is happening this week, but good Lord. I wake up in the middle of the night with worry; during the day, if I don't feel this little peanut move as much as the day before, I freak out. We even felt the baby on the outside of my belly this week and you'd think that would be a huge exciting relief of JOY. But, now, every day I don't feel it or maybe I'm just not paying attention, I FREAK OUT.

I try to self meditate...to calm myself down...say a prayer, basically talk myself off the ledge and remember what is here and now. Usually that works but I'm not sure why this is happening all of a sudden. I want this pregnancy to be about the JOY and miracles it took to make it happen. I don't want to worry, be afraid, anxious or concerned.

I think we're finally realizing how long it took to get this far and how much was put into this baby. The money, the time, the tears, the laughter -- 12 years ago, when I was going through my battle with leukemia, I never knew the repercussions it would have and the spiral we'd be sent into when trying to start a family. Now, it's coming full circle and I just want to be thankful that we had options and that we got this far. But, instead my mind is going to deep, dark places that I don't even want to reiterate in writing or verbally.


My mantra from here on out? See below.

**Bumpies are updated!**

20 Weeks (19w5d): Anatomy Scan Results

Well, well --- so much to talk about!


We had our Anatomy Scan last week on Wednesday, July 6th. We were technically 19w5d...typically, these scans are done between 20-21 weeks so, we were able to get in a little earlier than most.


Baby is good, healthy, normal. The heartbeat was 155bpm -- the last couple visits, it's been right around 150, so very consistent. Baby was measuring in at 10oz, ranking in the 45th percentile which is basically, smack dab in the middle, and great! Doc said that if we were to have waited a week or so, the weight would've gone up to 14-16oz and that we'd be surprised by how only a couple days makes such a difference with weight changes and growth at this point of pregnancy. But, again, no concerns whatsoever (and honestly, that's all we cared about...just wanted happy and healthy!). Also, my placenta is posterior so that is why I was able to feel the baby so early and now, so consistently. Doc said that as baby gets stronger, I'm going to feel so much movement that it most likely will keep me awake or I'll have trouble getting to sleep at night...lovely (BUT AWESOME!).


Our sonographer, Miranda, was an absolute gem. I literally walked into this appointment shaking and riddled with anxiety because I was so nervous something would be wrong. She calmed my nerves and really made the whole process very enjoyable. The only thing was that we have a very stubborn, stinker of a baby in this uterus. Baby did NOT want to cooperate. Every time Miranda wanted to get a belly picture, foot picture, heart picture...you name it, baby would flip and basically be like "SCREW YOU!" I was drinking lemonade and walking around the ultrasound room trying to get this little peanut to switch positions but baby just wanted to stick that butt up in the air, head down, spine up...I swear we worked on pictures for almost two hours. Miranda even had to move the table to an inverted position so it felt like I was standing on my head. Baby was extremely active and bounced around all the time --- maybe this baby will be a gymnast, because it was flipping and flopping and making things very difficult for Miranda to get good pictures. However, she did get the majority of them except for the umbilical cord insertion on the baby and feet photos. We met with Doc afterwards and he had no concerns at all...everything looked good and progress was right on track. Based on measurements, we were still on the same due date we got at the beginning of this journey. He said that if we wanted, we could come back in to get the last couple pictures, but it wasn't needed. So, of course, I said "SURE!" Why not come back and see baby again? Miranda said we could do some 3D pics too :)


It was so amazing to be able to see everything on the TV screen and the monitor all at the same time. Hubby's face just lit up when he realized, yet again, that this was really happening. Miranda asked us right away if we wanted to know the sex of the baby...before she could finish the question, hubby and I both said "YES" before she could even finish asking. We're not the kind of people who are able to keep secrets well...I think if we would've waited and had her put the gender in an envelope, I would've gone crazy. We weren't planning to have a gender reveal party either...just would try to take some pictures, once we knew the gender, to reveal to friends and family.


So, want to see some pictures?? These are the ones they printed for us, but I also have a whole CD (but, I haven't uploaded those yet...so maybe next time!):

This is a great pic and this is how baby wanted to be in order to not get pictures :)

Profile time for baby...look at that little peanut NOSE! Hands are up by the face.

And here you have it....the money shot! Gender!!

It's a GIRL!!!! We're so excited...I cried on the table, convulsed actually. I can't even describe it! You should've seen my hubby's face :) Here are some of our gender pictures we took over the weekend to share the news with our friends and family:

It's a GIRL :)

19w0d

19 weeks down...almost halfway done. I honestly am still in shock. Is this really happening? I try to cherish each day and remember everything that's going on because who knows, this could be the only time we go through this process.

How have things been going? Good. Really good. My energy has come back, I feel normal and I'm able to go almost all night without having to get up to pee every 2 hours. The only thing that has started to bug me a little is my water retention...I've noticed that when I over exert myself or eat bad foods consecutively, my feet and ankles turn into tree trunks. They get back to normal overnight but I need to pay attention to my sodium intake. I've only gained 5lbs so far, so that's good. I started out heavy so based on a standards website for pregnancy weight gain, I'm right on track.

I'm still having cravings for everything sweet...ice cream, maple donuts, gummy candy, cookies...you name it! And what's really funny is that I've NEVER been a sweets person... I was an olive eating, salt and vinegar chip kind of girl and that is not the case anymore.

I've been feeling the little peanut since week 15...but now, it's becoming more and more consistent. It honestly feels like someone is punking me and taking a feather to my belly for tickling pleasure. Sometimes I don't even realize it and I'm scratching my stomach trying to get the sensation to go away...then I'm like OH WAIT! THAT IS BABY. Crazy. I can't wait till I can feel the rolling motions of the ocean in there and when we can distinguish which limb is bumping and running into what.

We go in on Wednesday to do our 20 week ultrasound. Everyone at work, friends and family are so excited to know what the gender is of the little peanut. But, I honestly don't care about that...I just want to know we have a happy, healthy babe in there. We'll be happy with either gender...boy or girl, don't care. Although my hubby really wants a little girl...so we shall see!! Stay tuned :)