Tuesday

 

For those of you that follow my blog, or know what's going on, you're probably waiting and anticipating an update being it's Tuesday. Looking back at my last post, a lot of things have happened in the last week and Monday was the day we needed to give our decision on whether or not to move forward with the donor match the clinic had given us last week.

Well, Monday has come and gone. We still haven't made a decision. We still haven't figured out how we're going to pay for this. We still haven't decided what we're going to do. The only thing we did do was ask for an extension on our deadline. We get one more week to make this life changing decision...to have all our ducks in a row. To know how we're going to pay for our baby. Good Lord. I think I'm going crazy.

The good thing was that for the 4th of July holiday, we had to drive 7 hours north to my home town and I could lock my husband in the car and actually have a conversation without someone leaving to do this or that or being distracted by the television, dogs, neighbors, etc. I know, it's pathetic, but that's how life is...that is what it takes to settle down for a moment and talk about something big. Hubby is an engineer who hates confrontation, so I know how to get done what needs to be done even if it requires locking him somewhere to "force chat."

That being said, we knew we would have to take out a loan for baby...it's something we accepted a long time ago. We weren't going to ask anyone for money because we didn't want half of the people to know the "specifics" of what's actually going on with our baby struggles. We haven't moved forward with anything or financing options because these type of things don't just happen...they are a ways in the future and with all the changes and updates and crap at the clinic, we didn't think they would call for months. It wasn't REAL yet...Well, now it's real and we don't have ANYTHING figured out.

The clinic gave us some recommendations on where to go to get financing, the people that help with the program we're in so we basically don't have to do a single thing other than pay the bills. We looked into that option and of course it was like pulling teeth. At first, we didn't put in the right information, so we didn't get the results we needed...I had to sit on the phone with the company for a long time trying to figure out what went wrong and why we didn't get approved for the amount requested, etc. THEN, we finally got it and resubmitted the details...got the amount of money we needed approved, but the interest rates were insane. Hubby was not happy with the results so he is bound and determined to go elsewhere to get better outcomes...he's actually heading to the credit union this afternoon to see what they have to offer. IF we go this way, the credit union would basically send us a cashier's check and we would be responsible for getting the money to the right people and not SCREWING UP. *eek* I'm good at screwing things up...

So, we'll wait to see what they say AND then move forward *fingers crossed* hopefully. If for whatever reason, we can't nail down financing, this whole process/journey will be a bust and we'll be instead buying a new house and more dogs and retiring early to travel the world....sometimes I just want to throw in the towel.