SABOTEURS!!!!!!!!

Sometimes I just don't get it...or people. I just don't get people. Now, I might be overreacting today because I'm trying to eat healthy and have been a life long binger of food, sugar, liquor, carbs, chocolate, chips, pizza, cookies, pie, donuts...you name it and I could be going through withdrawals from not eating carbs, sugar, pizza, donuts, cookies, etc. But, still...I wish people would be a little more considerate. I mean, I'm trying to get pregnant, I'm on crazy hormones and I need to lose weight. So, STOP SABOTAGING ME!!!!!!!!!! (oh wait...no one actually knows any of these details...but, they should probably have ESP and be able to know what's going on in my life without me telling the world!)

For example, yesterday, I was doing so well with my new food routines...being prepared, cooked everything in advance, brought it all to work and did a little food art to make it look more appetizing than it was. Well, as I sit at my desk, some lug at work brings in a GIANORMOUS bag of Costco peanut M&M's. Now, you'd think this isn't a big deal...I mean, if he has them at his desk, eats them in his quiet little cube space and doesn't make a peep. Just chew, chew, chew...without a care in the world, not thinking of all the other people in the office that might want to claw his eyes out because he's eating fricken CHOCOLATE and I can't have any. But, anyway...no, he doesn't just stay in his personal space to eat his scrumptious candy...he has to put them right, smack dab in the middle of the WORLD to SHARE. I mean, I'm a great "sharer" but, come on...can't you tell by my crazy glares, stares and scowls that this is SO MEAN!!!!!!

Let me lay it out for you...we have a nice office, we actually just moved into a new building so everything is bright, shiny, and new. Everything is organized according to your department and smack dab in the middle, is a "high table." This area is suppppposed to be use for collaboration, impromptu meetings, etc. but, it is NOT used for these purposes. What it is used for is SHARING. So, I call it the "sharing table" and guess whose cube is right next to it? MINE!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's a picture, so you get the idea:

Again, you might be saying....not a big deal. But, this place is nuts. I didn't realize how much junk people eat and bring in to share. Good Lord. Anyways, these M&M's....Everyone was picking on me because I wouldn't eat them. One of my peeps actually starting THROWING THEM AT MY CUBE from the F'n SHARING TABLE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Can you say Saboteur?!?! Dumb.
But, anyway...made it through that hurdle without falling on my face...ya know, those track stars that hurdle jump during their runs? They get their foot caught and BAM, down they go, flat on that prickly running track...bruised and bleeding. Nope, not me...but, that was yesterday and now TODAY, it's someone's fricken birthday so they decide it's necessary to bring in these lovely DEVIL donuts and sit them on the SHARING TABLE. I mean....GEESH. I literally want to walk over there, take the boxes, throw them on the floor and stomp the crap out of them!!!!! They are literally staring at me..and when it's very quiet, I hear...."I'll get you, my pretty...and your little dog tooooo!" Cue Devil Donuts...and the Wicked Witch of the West.