Sitting Duck.

Have you heard of a "sitting duck?" If so, that's what I am right at this moment... a person who is extremely vulnerable, possibly out in the open and/or helpless in their current position. That's me. 

I've been awaiting the test results from my blood work and I got the email today from the nurse with the update. All the tests came back good and in normal status -- my TSH levels were down from 5+ to 1.85! Completely normal. They also tested my antibodies...it was a super long word and I can't remember what they called those but, they were good too. The nurse informed me that Dr. C was very pleased with the results and said we're "sitting very well!" Of course, I started asking questions such as, "Is there a goal in mind?" "What's the next step?" "Do the levels need to get lower?"

They came back and basically said everything was perfect...they just wanted to levels to get in a "Normal" range...I need to continue on the Synthroid thyroid meds and the hormones until further notice. I'm a sitting duck. Just sitting here, waiting....vulnerable, out in the open and helpless. **Twiddling thumbs** Waiting....our lives, our next moves are all in the hands of the clinic. We're waiting for them to call us and tell us they have a donor match now. We're waiting for them to tell us, "Let's go!" We're waiting...You're probably thinking, "That's great news!" But, I was so used to getting bad news and now that we're getting some good news, I just want to get the ball rolling. I know they weren't going to do anything until they were sure my thyroid was in a normal, healthy range...apparently, it's extremely important to have your thyroid levels stable and in a certain range before getting pregnant...sorry that I don't know the specifics but....here we are. Almost all the pieces have fallen into place, except for my weight stuff...but, lets go!  

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before...I'm pretty sure I haven't but one thing they recommended for me was to get in touch with an Accupuncturist. There are proven statistics that accupuncture helps with infertility so the individual I have been seeing specifically focuses on women's health and infertility and works with the clinic and their patients. She is also a friend of my "Family" Friend who works at the clinic :) We'll call her Ms. N. With infertility, there is hope, sadness, frustration, etc. you name it, it's there. It's so insanely important that while int he process of getting pregnant and having a child that your body as a whole is focused on and in a stable state. When you are more balanced, you are more likely to have success! 

I've always been interested in holistic approaches and how they affect people and their lives. I started seeing Ms. N a while ago and now with the pieces falling into place, I've started visiting with Ms. N 3xmonth to get new points and fertility accupuncture in order to prepare my body in order to have a baby, to help with embyro transplantation, and to carry a baby full term. It's been a little crazy and every visit is different but so fulfilling and interesting! For example, I saw her today and got some new "points" aka needles in various spots...then I spend 30 minutes "meditating" and go from there! So very relaxing and I can already see changes in myself that are helping me grow and be more balance as a whole. 

BUT, I'm still a sitting duck...doing what they say and waiting. My focus now continues to be on the weight. The lighter I get, the closer we are...or so I tell myself. Maybe they will just call one day and be like, "We have a match!" regardless of my weight?? Who knows.