My husband still won't commit to go get his LAST blood test...the one that sprung up on us recently with a $300 fee attached to it (no insurance will cover). I even emailed him yesterday during work to see if I could just set it up for him...because that's what it'll come down to if I want it to get done. He literally sent me back a one liner that said, "I'm not sure when I want to do it." That's it. I'm trying not to be pushy...but, seriously?!?! I'll have to bug him again tonight and remind him that he can do it any time he wants...not like the other tests where there was a specific window of opportunity. I'll have to time it right though, in order to get the response I need...I guess that means we'll have to hop in the sack and take care of business THEN bring it up!
I was able to spend time over the Memorial Day weekend with my best friend who now lives out of state. Her and her husband just had a baby and he's two months old now...we had always dreamed about growing up together, living on the same cul-de-sac, raising our children together just like we grew up. She lived next door to my grandparents so we have been attached at the hip since we were about 2 years old. We know each other better than anyone else...the good, the bad, the happy, the sad. We had big plans... but as you grow older and pursue your own life, dreams and goals...things change. We have never "Grown apart" but we have moved apart physically. She went to school in North Dakota and I went over to Duluth. She became a physical therapist and accepted a job offer in Arizona...I fell in love, got into sales and moved to the cities. We still were able to stay in touch and visit each other a couple times a year, both in AZ and MN. But, it's tough...then I found out all that great news about my infertility and realized that we would never live near each other and have our kids grow up together. I actually felt OK about it because she met the man of her dreams and got engaged but they planned to never have children. I know this is awful but it made me feel better. I didn't want her to raise a kid without me! Well, less than a year after they were married, she accidentally got pregnant....they got married, got pregnant, bought two dogs and a house, all in less than a year...while we sit here an struggle. I was truly happy for them, I really was...but, I remember the day she called to tell me about the news. I remember where I was, what I was doing, the time of day...I literally burst into tears in both joy and sadness. I immediately told her this reaction was not an indication of the news she just shared with me...I was extremely happy for her because I know having children was so important to her but a non-existent goal for her husband. But, I did have to explain to her why I was crying, why I was sad, why I was mad we wouldn't be able to raise our children together...she understood, but our relationship got put on hold...she told me she was nervous to tell me the news...and then after that, I didn't hear much from her until I literally confronted her. I had to call her and tell her not to worry about calling me and talking about the pregnancy, the baby, the movements, the changes. I had to reassure her that I would not burst into tears again because I was mad, jealous or sad. I told her I wanted to be a part of this even though my dreams have faded into memories. She expressed her concern, her empathy...she didn't want to make things worse for me but understood where I was coming from. From then on out, things were better...I visited AZ when she was "with child," she came home and we went out on the 4-wheelers roaming the forest. Things were back to normal.
When she had the baby, I was so excited...my number one goal was to get down there and visit, to help out as best as I could. Being a mom comes naturally...so it was easy for me to take the kiddo and let her actually go to the bathroom by herself and do normal person things...:) It was hard to leave...it's always hard to leave...my best friend. My person. and now, you throw this cutie in there....makes it really tough.
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